


Loki: Loneliness of Ragnarok

by littlemissdeath



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor: Ragnarok - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Femdom, First Time, Jotun Loki, Loki just wants someone to love him, Loki loves Thor, M/M, Mothering, PWP, Poor Loki, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Scat, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Thor dosen't love Loki, Watersports, Wetting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 10:56:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12505832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissdeath/pseuds/littlemissdeath
Summary: Set during Thor3, Loki is a virgin [if you don’t count the non-con sex from his time in the Sanctuary with the Other/Thanos etc. Loki is depressed and Thor and Banner cannot help him. Loki wants to die as there is no one to love him.Bruce is aware of Skaar, he just let Hulk be in control.Thor and Banner seek help of exiled Jotuns on Skaar. They don’t know about Loki’s killing of their king nor his attempt to destroy their realm.Thor opens up about how he no longer cares.. ref comment by Tom Hiddleston “I’ve said this about Loki before, but the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. The idea that Thor might be indifferent to Loki is troubling for him because a defining feature of his character is, ‘I don't belong in the family; my brother doesn't love me





	Loki: Loneliness of Ragnarok

Elevator on Skaar, Thor stands silently next to his nervous brother. Loki can feel the tension. He and Thor have not yet talked about Loki’s poor attempt to be king and the problems he has caused. Thor is now past that and decides he should finally tell Loki how he feels.

“You know Loki, I thought the world of you.” Loki turns his head and looks him in the eyes, hopefully. “I thought we would fight side by side forever. But at the end of the day, you are you and I am me. Oh well.. maybe there is still good in you but to be honest our paths diverged a long time ago.” Thor looks back to his front and Loki slowly the same. The words sinking in but not yet hitting home.

“Yeah…” he sighs. “It’s probably for the best we never see each other again.”

“Well that’s what you have always wanted.” Thor softly reminds him. Loki pouts and begins to feel a pain inside. He pulls his mouth tight in an effort to hold back the tears. No good.

Tears begin to stream down his pale cheeks as he looks straight ahead. He tries to be strong but it’s no good. Loki doesn’t want to be alone. And despite their differences, Loki never stopped loving Thor.

Then his cries whimper first but quickly overwhelm him. Loki falls to his knees and sobs loudly. Wiping the constant flow of tears from his face in an uncoordinated manner.  
Thor raised an eyebrow and saw his ex-brother kind of looking a cross between a toddler having a tantrum and a widow who lost their soul mate. Thor wasn’t good at ‘feelings’ and his interactions were not really helpful. He poked Loki’s thigh with his boot.

“It’s not that bad.. come on Loki, stand up.”

Loki continued to wail. The door to the lift opened and Banner stood first glance at Thor then down to Loki. He too raised his eyebrows in surprise. He then had a bit more sympathy. “Thor is Loki hurt?”

“Don’t mind him, he’s just sooking. He does this.” Thor stepped out of the elevator and Loki refused to move. Banner could see this was no rouse and leaned down and placed a reassuring hand on Loki’s shoulder and tried to console him.

“Loki? What happened? Are you hurt?”

Loki swiftly looked up, puffy eyes and a runny nose then he sobbed. “Thor doesn’t love me! He’s abandoning me!”

Banner didn’t know what was said but he did know that they had known each other for centuries and for a family bond to be severed after such a time would warrant Loki’s distress. Banner put his arm under Loki’s armpit and forced him to stand. Despite not being the other guy, he still had a strength run through him that was much more than a mortal man.

Loki stumbled and stood weakly and in shock of this man’s strength. He stared at him and found himself being led to an apartment where Hulk lived. Bruce set him down in a small bedroom that Hulk didn’t use, mostly because he couldn’t fit easily through the door.

Bruce stroked Loki’s hair and reassured him again. “I will have a talk with Thor. Ok?”

He looked down to see Loki clutching at his pant leg. “Please don’t leave me…” Loki softly begged. Bruce felt compelled and sat on the bed while Loki remained on the floor.  
Thor sighed and shook his head he waited outside the bedroom, finding himself leaning against a wall near the open door, arms folded, angry at Loki’s neediness.

Bruce decided he needed answers and after seeing Loki break down, knew there were some major issues at play here. “Loki, why did you try to destroy New York?”

“Huh?” Loki was momentarily distracted. “I didn’t, I.. “ he couldn’t really answer.

“Thor told me you wanted your own throne and Thanos promised you Earth for the Tesseract?”

“No.. that’s not right.” Loki sort of stopped crying. “I wanted to destroy Midgard. There was nothing worth saving.”

“I don’t think that is true.” Bruce acted the parent. Thor smugly smiled then he thought about their fight Stark Tower. Loki was out of his depth and he knew it, Thor tried to reason with him, to bring him back, to get him to stop the madness. But Loki was too stubborn and stabbed Thor and escaped.

Thor exhaled uneasy. He needed to know the truth too. He slowly stepped into the room and Loki looked up. “Loki, did you do that out of spite? Over father choosing me for the throne? Over jealousy of Jane? If you couldn’t have it no one could?”

That was closer to the truth. Loki broke eye contact. He was too upset to retort. Thor shook his head and left the room. Banner was a bit taken back. Loki was acting like a spoilt child but was taking his anger out on whole realms. He bit his lip at the needless loss of life over petty jealousy. “Did you want to be king, Loki?” Bruce softly asked trying to suppress the Other guy.

“I was the rightful king. Thor didn’t know how to rule. He is too selfish, arrogant and reckless!” Loki clenched his fists. “Mother made me king and then Thor and his stupid ‘mortal’ ruined everything!” Loki folded his arms. How he hated Jane.

Thor found himself slowly sliding down the wall and was now sitting and listening to the conversation in the other room.  
“You mother made you king? Why.. what..? wasn’t your father king?”

“He’s not my father!” Loki protested. Bruce realised he touched on a sensitive subject. Loki slumped back down. He remembered his mother handing him Gungir. He felt the tears come back. “mother…” he softy sobbed. Barely audible.

“you miss her.”

“It’s my fault..” Loki softly admitted. He looked up at Bruce who was not judging him. “I told the Cursed how to get out of the dungeon, I didn’t know he was going to kill my mother!” Loki then started to cry and buried his face in his bent up knees.

Bruce placed a hand on his back. Thor turned his head away. He couldn’t save her either.  
“Loki, you see Frigga as your mother, and Thor your brother.. but not Odin your father?” Bruce hoped Loki was not the result of the Queen cheating on her husband.

Loki sniffed and didn’t look up. “Odin stole me from my birth father when I was a baby. He was going to use me to get back at Jotunheim. He never told me the truth.”

Thor decided to come back and add his clarification to his puzzled friend. “Loki found out he was adopted a few years ago, when I was banished here and met Selvig and Jane.” Loki looked up and glared at Thor at the mention of her name. "I went back to Asgard but he just wanted to fight. And with father in Odinsleep, Loki was king but didn’t want to share nor realise that the throne was rightfully mine, not his.”

“What!?” Loki yelled. “I never wanted the throne! I wanted you! To be your equal!” Loki leaped up and grabbed Thor. “You had no idea about what I went through! I loved you so much and you just pushed me away!”

Thor gripped Loki’s wrists and easily broke off his brother’s feeble attempts to hurt him. “What are you talking about?” Thor was confused.

“You had everything! Everybody loved you!” Loki then slumped back down and talked softly to the floor. “I was so alone, you were all I had. I knew it was wrong, but something felt right about loving you. Then when I finally found out I was not your brother, I finally understood the feeling I had. But then even though I knew it would no longer be a sin punishable by death, I knew I still couldn’t act on it. It was given to me and taken away all in one fell swoop.”

“What? I don’t understand.” Thor looked down. “You ‘loved’ me? Like a woman does?” Thor was more confused. Men never slept with men, it was Argr and shameful. “But we are brothers.. you … but Loki that is incest.” Thor finally caught on but was still not getting the gravity of the situation.

“I’m not your brother!” Loki glared at him. “Don’t you see? When I found out I was overjoyed that my feelings were not wrong but then knew I could never do anything about it as I was the enemy! I was everything you hated! I am Jotun!”

Thor stepped back. He then realised Loki never pursued anyone. He always blindly followed him around. The nights they cuddled together and brothers, Thor realised, to Loki it was always something much more than friendship. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Oh like that is a subject I could have brought up!” Loki scoffed. “hey Thor I want to bathe with you so I can see you naked.. hey Thor, I wank over you everynight!” Loki taunted.

“How is that my fault?! So were you picturing me when you fuck some maiden?”

Loki softly interrupted. “Stop.”

“Or maybe pictured me as sucking your cock when she did?” Thor yelled.

“Stop it! I never did!”

“A likely story from the God of Lies!” Thor huffed and folded his arms.

“I never did.. cause…. I haven’t had sex!” Loki admitted. Thor didn’t believe him. Then he really thought about it. About their time together. When he and his friends were all in the taverns together. Loki never had anyone on his arm or sneaking off into a back room with.

Bruce tried hard not to be amused, but it made sense on the extreme ways Loki would react.

Loki reaffirmed why he was sad. “Mother is dead…Now you don’t want to be near me… I don’t have anyone who loves me Thor…” he looked up and the tears started again. Thor stormed out and punched a hole in the wall as he left. He hated the guilt trip. Bruce stood and went to follow then looked back at Loki.

**_  
Bruce closed the door and looked to Thor then to the shelves of alcohol. He took a bottle and sniffed it, he jerked his head back at the potency. He then took a swig. He extended his arm to Thor. Thor took the bottle and skulled a large mouthful.

Thor slumped down on the couch. “He always does this. If he doesn’t get what he wants he manipulates.” Thor tried to be angry at Loki. But there was a truth in every lie. Bruce looked to the closed door then grabbed his own drink then sat next him.

“Well he seems pretty hurt.” Bruce then turned to Thor seriously. “He’s a virgin? Aren’t you guys like thousands of years old?”

“Yes, but it’s all relative. Time is different on Asgard.”

“Oh so like how a mayfly thinks it has a full and productive life but to humans it might be only a week?”

Thor sort of got the analogy. “Yeah, something like that.” Thor heard a thump from the next room. Bruce went to get up. “Ignore him. He’s probably tossing furniture in a tantrum.”

Bruce hesitated. “No, I think we should check on him.” He walked to the door and slowly opened it. “Loki? Are you ok?” he was preparing for something to be thrown at him. He then glance in and saw Loki sitting on the floor, legs wide apart, blood coming from his inner thigh. Loki looked pale, tears streaming down his face, blood smeared on his hands holding the knife. “Shit!” Bruce ran to him. “Thor! Help!”

“What is wrong now..” Thor came to the door. “It’s probably an illusion, don’t trust him.” Thor got closer and could see it wasn’t. the blood was real. Bruce firmly forced his hands down on Loki’s bleeding leg.

“What have you done?” he panted.

“No one wants me, so why bother…” Loki exhaled then blacked out. There was so much blood.

“Thor! Hold him.” Bruce grabbed a sheet from the bed. “Keep pressure on the wound!” Bruce got up and ran to his desk. He rummaged through and found a med kit. He dragged it back to the bedroom. He pulled it open and grabbed out some tools and tourniquet Loki’s leg and quickly repaired his wound.  
Bruce sighed. “I’ve stopped the bleeding but he’s lost so much blood. I don’t know if my blood is even compatible with his.”

Thor realised he couldn’t help Loki either. “I can’t. He’s not Aseir, I mean out people can breed with Yamir/ Jotuns, but I don’t think we are compatible for medicine.”

“What’s a Jotun look like? I mean Loki looks like me or you but he’s not the same. How are we supposed to find someone who looks like him and has the same blood in the next few hours?”

“Loki is completely different.” Thor stated, not understanding how Bruce could have missed that. “He’s just got a glamor that his Seider shields him.” Thor walked over and lifted Loki up. He brushed his hair from his face. “Loki? Loki are you in there? Let your true self show. It may save you yet.” Thor whispered.

Loki did not respond verbally. He moaned slightly and his skin became blue and the markings of his heritage appeared. Banner jumped back.

“Whoa! He’s blue!” Bruce carefully touched his cheek. “And he’s cold! Shit he must be still losing blood!”

“No!” Thor stopped Bruce. “He’s not. Jotuns live on an ice planet, this is normal, they can cause frostbite with a touch.” Thor felt a bit protective of Loki. Bruce got up.

“I’ll be back, I think I now know someone who can help…” Bruce ran out. Thor sat next to Loki on the floor. He cradled him and kept hold of his hand. Thor the heard a soft hissing sound. As he looked down he could see Loki was wetting his pants.

“Oh Loki!” Thor felt guilty and shoved the bedding down between his legs to try and soak up the flow across the cold hard floor. He tossed the sheet aside and contemplated washing him, but knew he would possibly tear the stitches.

Bruce came back in a few minutes later. “I was right! Thor can you carry him?” Bruce slipped on a coat and grabbed some medical supplies and tubes. Thor slipped his arms under   
Loki’s legs and around his back. As he leant in close to lift him, he realised Loki had done more than just wet himself. He grimaced as he wrapped a clean sheet around him and lifted him.

“Where are we going?”

“Ice! You said they are from an ice planet? Well there are these strange blue people who live underground who are specialists in making ice!” Bruce opened the door and Thor followed.

“Wait, there are Jotuns here?”

“I don’t know there species, but they look sort of like Loki but nearly twice as tall. I remember fighting one as the Other guy.” Bruce pressed the button on the elevator.

“Well that sounds like a frost giant.” Thor concluded.

They stood silently in the elevator for a minute till Bruce turned to look at Loki and realised the smell was coming from him. He felt bad, even though he had tried to destroy Earth, dying in your own shit was pretty humiliating.  
**_

The lift opened on the sub-basement levels. They began to make their way through windy corridors and passages. Going deeper and Thor could begin to feel the chill in the air. They came to a large room where people were moving chunks of ice and seemingly it was a small market. Bruce pointed in the direction of a couple of Jotuns dropping off some ice and heading back to a room.

“Is that them?”

“Yeah, those are defiantly frost giants. I don’t know if I should be here. They don’t exactly like Asgardians… we kind of slaughtered their people a 1000 years ago in a great war… not to mention Loki trying to recently destroy their planet..” Thor whispered.

Bruce paused and looked at the blue man in Thor’s arms. “We have to take a chance. Their blood might be the only that will save him.”

The trio walk cautiously to the back of the market and Bruce tapped on the door hesitantly. The door swung open. “No more ice! You have….” The giant realised it wasn’t a store owner hassling him. He looked down and saw the little Jotun in Thor’s arms. He didn’t notice how Thor was. He just place her hand gently on Loki’s forehead and ran his thumb over the markings on his head.

“He’s hurt, he’s lost a lot of blood.” Bruce explained. The giant grabbed Loki’s arm and pulled him from Thor’s arms and dragged him in to the dark room. Thor and Bruce quickly followed. “He needs a blood transfusion! Please can you help?”

The giant place Loki on a cold stone table and tore off his clothes. He grabbed a bucket of water and washed Loki’s mess and blood. He groaned as he placed his hands on Loki’s chest and forehead. He closed his eyes and began to chant softly. Another giant came in and saw Loki lying just in his small clothes.

“Oh my!” it was a female giant. She was not as big as Loki, as she was juvenile. “Father did this youngling fall through the portal? What happened?” She rushed over and saw the wound on his leg. “someone hurt him, this is a stab wound.” She glared at the two men. “Who hurt him?”

“He hurt himself!” Thor shouted. “I order you to help him!”

“Orders?” She held her hands out and conjured ice swords. “I don’t think soft , little, meat bags, have any place ‘ordering’ me around..” she stalked towards them.

“I’m Prince Thor Odinson, my father is the king!” 

"Angrboda, stand down." She stopped and the other giant looked up. “Odin?” he twigged. “I know that name. but Odin is not here so I don’t recognise your authority on Skaar. This is a place for forgetting. This whole world is an oubliette. Nothing leaves here.” he then stroked Loki’s hair. “But…”

Thor paused and the girl giant seemed ready to kill. “But?” Thor worried that the war and what Odin had done had put them in a bad light.

“See, I know stories of Odin, he’s mother is Bestla, she was a great warrior and a Jotun.”

Thor breathed a sigh of relief, these Jotuns must have live here for a long time. “So you will help for her?”

“No, I will help cause this youngling has the markings of royalty. Who is he?” The giantess turned and was enamoured by the fact this boy was a prince.

“He is my brother.. Loki.”

“Brother?” He raised an eyebrow. “No. these are not the dominant genes of a Jotun, his blood is not the same as yours.”

“He’s adopted. He’s the son of King Laufey.” Thor cringed and waited for his punishment as the realisation of Laufey and his battles with Aseir were not the best of memories for giants.

“Oh, so many centuries have past!” The giant smiled and reminisced. “My father told me a story of a brave prince of that name. that makes me proud he became king. What has King Laufey been doing these days?” he fondly said of news from home.

“The king is dead.” Softy admitted.

"Oh… well it has been many centuries… Life moves on. So who is on the throne of Jotunheim now?"

Thor hesitated and looked away then glanced at Loki. "I don’t know."

Bruce moved to Loki’s side and pulled out his kit. "We need to give him blood from one of his race, can you help?"

The giant nodded and sat down. He placed his large arm on the table next to Loki. Bruce went about connecting up the cannula and then released the clip. Dark blue blood flowed from the giant’s arm into Loki. It was a slow process but they could all see it was having an immediate effect on Loki. 

Thor breathed a big sigh of relief when he saw Loki start to stir. Thor rushed to his side and cupped his cheek. "Loki? Loki can you hear me?"

Loki slowly opened his eyes and then dismissed Thor. "Thor, what are you doing?"

"I’m saving your life brother." he shed a tear as he looked into Loki’s eyes. The touch and the return of his strength allowed Loki to turn back to his Aseir form. The giant gasped and his daughter smiled. Bruce scowled as Thor didn’t really have anything to do with the actual lifesaving, in fact he brought Loki to this state. He was beginning to understand that the relationship between these brothers was complex to say the least and just a bit volatile.

Loki glanced up to see the smiling faces of the two giants. He was afraid and wondered under what pre-tense they would even help someone who had destroyed their realm. Loki felt a lot better and Bruce stopped the transfusion and removed the device. The giant rubbed his wound with some ice and it all but stopped the bleeding and began to heal straight away.


End file.
